Mistaken Belief
by Astraldust
Summary: Elizabeth has a bad reaction to some devastating news. A tag to Allies. Hint of Sparky


**Summary**:- Elizabeth has a bad reaction to some devastating news. A tag to Allies.

**Spoiler:- **Allies so if you haven't seen this episode yet, **please be warned. **

**Pairing:- **A hint of Sparky

**Rating: - K+**

**Disclaimer: - **I don't own Stargate Atlantis or its super characters. Unfortunately!

Sorry no Beta, I live in a country where the first language isn't English.

Mistaken Belief by Astraldust

Elizabeth rested her head against the soft cream leather of her chair and closed her eyes for just a few seconds. The bone weary tiredness she had been feeling all too often these days had become an ache that left her desperate for the comfortable embrace of sleep. Nevertheless, she knew that that luxury was still hours away.

Why had it all gone so very wrong? Had they been so gullible as to believe that the Wraith could have been trusted? She questioned. Worse still because of their stupidity the enemy were now in the possession of critical data on the Aurora mission and a complete list to all the known worlds including, Earth. With this thought, an incredible feeling of overwhelming hopelessness suddenly threatened to drown her in its intensity. She really hoped that it was due to her fatigue and not a permanent state of mind.

Fervently she wished that John were here to come up with one of his hair brain ideas to get them out of this but nothing had been heard from the Daedalus for several hours now. Surely, they should have been back, she pondered, but behind that thought, she worried about what they may have encountered when faced with maybe two or even more hive ships.

Suddenly as if to suppress her fears, her radio came alive with the voice of the comm. technician. "Dr. Weir, the Daedalus is asking permission to land."

Relief crossed her weary face for the first time in hours. "Permission granted and please tell Sheppard, Caldwell, and Dr. McKay to come to my office immediately."

The technician's voice hesitated. "Ma'am … err … yes, ma'am."

A sudden coldness crept into Elizabeth's bones leaving her petrified with fear. Why had he hesitated that way? Did he know something that she didn't? Oh no, she thought, Rodney and Ronon would have been on Michael's hive ship. Could it be she had lost them and John would bring her bad news?

Suddenly needing someone for support, she hit her radio and requested Teyla's company. Her silent presence would be reassuring and Elizabeth was certain that the young woman would be anxious to hear about her team. Teyla slipped into the office a few minutes later and after a soft greeting, the beautiful woman quietly sat down on the sofa while they waited for the Colonels and hopefully, McKay to arrive.

Catching sight of Caldwell's tall figure moving towards her office, Elizabeth perked up a little but he walked alone and stiffer than his usual stance. Her heart suddenly pounded loudly in her ears. She could feel the blood draining from her face leaving her shaking inside and the feeling only increased as Caldwell planted his tall frame in front of her desk, his face a mask of regret and concern.

Elizabeth managed to get to her feet and face him. "Tell me."

Caldwell's voice was soft as he spoke to her. "It was a disaster. They turned on us, both ships firing as soon as we came out of hyperspace. We did our best to stop them. Colonel…," his voice broke slightly before continuing, "Sheppard took a flight out. He tried to destroy their drives before they went into hyperspace, but failed to stop them."

Elizabeth looked frantically beyond Caldwell. "Where's Sheppard?" she questioned.

"I'm sorry, he didn't make it back. His fighter must have taken a direct hit. There was nothing left but wreckage. We jumped into hyperspace and tried to contact you. It seems there was a short out in our long range transmitter."

His words faded out as the coldness inside her grew into an overwhelming freeze. She vaguely heard Teyla ask about McKay and Ronon as her world came crashing down. The room moved in a spinning whirl and she felt herself shutting down as blackness came up to meet her. Folding like a pack of cards, Elizabeth Weir collapsed behind her desk, giving her head a striking blow on the way down.

_-SGA-_

Awareness slowly came back to her and in the distance, the soft voice of her favourite Scottish doctor floated over. She could just make out his words, "Come back a little later, love, she's suffering from extreme exhaustion," before her eyes drifted closed again and she slipped back into the welcome arms of sleep.

_-SGA-_

During her next trip back to reality, Dr. Beckett's warm and gentle face greeted her. Giving Elizabeth a few minutes to come around properly, he asked. "Are ya feeling a wee bit better now after that much needed sleep?"

"A little." she murmured. "How long have I slept?"

"Oh…just over nine hours but that just goes to prove how totally exhausted ya were," Carson answered, "although ya did give yourself a nasty bang on the head. Now if ya could just sit up a wee bit for me, ya can have something to drink and maybe some breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Ya have to eat, Elizabeth."

She looked at him with haunted eyes. "I've … we've lost him, Carson," she whispered, "and this time it's for good."

Carson didn't have to ask whom she was talking about and his face portrayed his own sorrow as he looked at her. "Aye, so it would seem."

"Rodney and Ronon?" she asked, dreading that answer too.

"I'm so sorry but they were still aboard the hive ship when it went into hyperspace. We can only hope that they somehow find a way to get out." Carson left it at that. What more could he say to the distressed woman before him. His guilt slowly ate away inside but he couldn't burden Elizabeth with that right now. If only they hadn't messed with the retrovirus then none of this may have happened, but there was no going back.

Looking towards Elizabeth, he noted a trail of glistening tears slowly sliding down her face even though she was trying her hardest to keep it in control. Leaning down, he held her in his arms and whispered. "Ya know its okay to let go." Yet even as he held her, Elizabeth failed to release her sorrow before she drifted off to sleep again.

Slightly concerned about her inability to face her grief, Carson let her slumber on knowing that sleep was the best cure for her physical strength. As to her mental strength, only time would tell. One thing for sure, Elizabeth had just lost one of the two men that gave her that strength and Carson prayed that she wouldn't loose the other.

_-SGA-_

Elizabeth eventually woke to find Teyla sitting quietly by her bed. The young woman looked tired and her eyes gave away signs of puffiness as if she'd been crying for a longer period. Elizabeth vaguely wondered just how close she'd really been to John.

Her gaze drifted to a tray of food on the nightstand just as Teyla quietly said. "Dr. Weir, it is good to see you finally awake. I bought you some food a little while ago but you were still asleep and I did not wish to disturb you. Please eat and then I would like to talk to you about something."

Although her appetite was still almost none existent, Elizabeth attempted to eat something. She needed to keep her strength up for whatever lay ahead for them and going without food wasn't an option. Half-heartedly biting into a sandwich, she forced it down with the occasion sip of juice. Eventually, she'd had enough and pushed the tray away.

Teyla made no comment about the half-eaten sandwich. "Dr. Weir, I know its early days but as you know, it is a tradition amongst my people to hold a remembrance ceremony for those lost to the Wraith. Many on Atlantis still have hope that Dr. McKay and Ronon Dex will return to us, and I am amongst those that believe they will find their way home again. However, for Colonel Sheppard that does not seem to be the case and with your blessing, we wish to honour his life with our ceremony. John was a good friend to my people and to me."

Elizabeth made eye contact with the beautiful Athosian and saw her own pain mirrored in Teyla's eyes. Silent tears ran down her cheek as Elizabeth found her voice to answer. "It's also a tradition amongst our people, Teyla, and I'm sure there are many who will want to remember him and all he has done for everyone here. So … please go … ahead and organize it." Her voice nearly broke on the last sentence but she knew Teyla would understand why.

"Thank you. I will arrange it for later today while we still have time as we have no idea what the following days will bring us." Elizabeth solemnly nodded in agreement, as Teyla continued. "At the end of the ceremony we will offer some prays for the safe return of Dr. McKay and Ronon." Teyla's voice nearly broke on his name leaving Elizabeth wondering just how deep her feelings were for the missing Satedan.

Finding some inner strength for the first time since this whole mess began, Elizabeth calmly stated. "If you need someone to cry on, I'll be there for you."

"The same goes for you," Teyla whispered. "John Sheppard meant more to you than you would have us believe. He will be greatly missed by us all."

Elizabeth's reserves finally broke and the tears flowed as she wept in Teyla's arms. "How can I go on without him?" she cried.

Through her own tears, Teyla replied. "You will find a way, Elizabeth. You will find the strength to carry on as he would wish it to be."

_-SGA-_

Later as the evening dusk had settled over the city, Elizabeth accompanied by Carson Beckett entered the already packed room designated for the ceremony. Candles softly lit the room to give a faint mystical aura as people gathered in informal groups either sitting on provided chairs or on the floor or standing along the walls.

Carson carefully escorted Elizabeth over to a couple of chairs that had been left vacant just for them. It did not surprise either of them to see so many people here including many of Teyla's folk. John had been one of the best-loved and most respected members of the expedition. He had saved the city and its people so often in the past two years. He had offered his life without question for their protection.

As the ceremony began, the words spoken by the chosen members from both the science teams and military personnel appraised to this. Normally Elizabeth would have said a few words but Carson stepped in with an excuse that she was not well enough and spoke on her behalf. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk about John but she just didn't have the emotional strength to face up to his loss in front of the others. It may have given an impression that she was the grieving window but right now, she didn't care.

As Carson finished his tribute, Teyla stepped up to the front and started to sing a beautiful and very haunting Athosian song. Elizabeth had heard Teyla sing the song before, right after they had first arrived in Atlantis when Teyla and the surviving Athosians had paid tribute to their people lost during the Wraith attack on Athos. John had stood by Elizabeth that day, giving his quiet support. Her eyes began to water at the memory as the song washed over her in its sadness and she knew she wasn't alone with her tears. As the hymn ended, a hush passed over the room as Teyla offered prayers for John's soul and the safe return of Rodney and Ronon. The candles flickered in the total stillness as Teyla's prayers ended and everyone stood for a few moments in quiet remembrance and their own silent thoughts.

With the service over, people began to leave in small groups to continue their work or for evening rest. Carson was about to guide Elizabeth out when one of the Daedalus crewmembers approached her. She realised it was Dr. Lindsey Novak and her slight nervousness still showed as she requested. "Could I … err … have a word with you in private, Dr. Weir?"

Wondering what in heavens name this woman had to say and hoping that she wouldn't get the hiccups again, Elizabeth answered. "Of course, why don't we go out onto the balcony, I could do with some fresh air."

Carson, bless him, fussed a little but relented after he gave her his jacket, telling her not to be too long. Dr. Novak promised that she'd make it short.

The fresh sea air somewhat replenished the lethargy Elizabeth had been feeling for days now but not the deep ache in her soul. This wasn't **their** balcony and right now Elizabeth couldn't imagine wanting to go to that one ever again.

Dr. Novak stood behind her anxiously looking around as if checking to make sure they were alone. When she didn't say anything, Elizabeth knew she would have to initiate the conversation. "What did you want tell me, Dr. Novak."

Nervously twisting her hands, Novak stammered. "Well, it's not really me that wants to tell you … _hic…,_ err … sorry about that, but the person concerned was unable to come himself … to ……err. May I say it was a beautiful service but he feels that it may have been a little bit …_hic…_ premature."

Elizabeth felt her knees go slightly weak. "Why would he think that?"

Dr. Novak nervousness and hiccups suddenly disappeared in a puff of air as she clearly explained. "Captain Kleinman was on bridge duty during the attack, ma'am. He was tracking the F302's flight and although Colonel Sheppard's fighter was attacked and failed to return, he believes that it may not have been destroyed."

Elizabeth's heartbeat quickened. "What makes him believe that?"

"Well, he scanned the wreckage, ma'am and although there was plenty, he was unable to pick up the colonel's locator beacon. Now normally, even if he had taken a direct hit, the beacon should have confirmed the destruction of the fighter. Those locator units are extremely difficult to destroy thus leading Captain Kleinman to believe that although the colonel's ship disappeared, it wasn't destroyed. I tend to agree with him, although we haven't expressed this notion to anyone else. Of course, we can only speculate as to exactly where the colonel's ship went to."

"He could have flown into the hive ship just before it went hyper?" Elizabeth whispered.

"It's a possibility and something Colonel Sheppard is crazy and skilled enough to do." Novak gave a nervous giggle.

For the first time in days, Elizabeth smiled a little. "Crazy enough," she agreed. "Especially if he believed that two of his team were still on board. To quote John Sheppard; you do not leave men behind. But why in heavens name didn't Caldwell tell me about this?" she asked.

Novak's nervousness returned as she spoke in defence of her commanding officer. "It's … _hic_ … possible that Colonel Caldwell truly believes that the 302 was destroyed. He probably didn't think that the colonel could have survived regardless of the situation, ma'am."

Possible maybe, Elizabeth thought, but he never even spared a few minutes to come to John's memorial service. Granted, he had a lot on his plate. Most importantly warning Earth about a possible Wraith attack to overseeing repairs to the Daedalus, but was it guilt over his omission to tell her the full facts that had kept him away or his belief that John was truly gone and he didn't care? Although, she that found hard to believe. No matter, Elizabeth swore that whatever the outcome, Caldwell would never take John's place, not if she had anything to do with it.

Turning towards Novak, she quietly thanked the woman and asked her to not to talk to others about the matter, just yet. The woman nodded in quiet agreement and quickly dismissed herself leaving Elizabeth alone with her thoughts. She would also keep this knowledge to herself for now but two people deserved to know that there was hope, one very remorseful doctor and a women who looked upon John as a dear and beloved friend.

Looking towards the dark tranquil sea, Elizabeth took a deep breath and let her gaze drift skywards to the milliard of twinkling stars shining overhead. Out there somewhere, she now truly believed that three boys were missing and not just two.

Silently, she sent a prayer heavenwards for their safe return. For his safe return. "Come back to me, John, I need you and - I love you." she whispered.

End

_When I watched Allies, John's disappearance took me by surprise and I couldn't see how he could have survived. I even checked the net to make sure Joe Flanigan was signed up for season three. Silly me! I'm sure he'll get out of it, somehow? I can't wait for No Man's Land! Please be kind and review. Thanks. _


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